Interview with Suti Sahariah:
Nepal’s popular movie star Rekha Thapa has come a long way from being a glamorous face of Nepali film industry to acting in movies that tackle the issues of women empowerment and gender equality.
The 34-year-old actress has acted in over 200 movies in a career spanning over 16 years. She has won a number of prestigious awards in Nepal including the NEFTA Film Awards for the best actress in 2011.
Behind the gloss and sheen of her celebrated life, Rekha has been working to motivate girls and women across Nepal to be self reliant and has been challenging the stereotypical image of women. She says, “women rights and empowerment is not just an issue for Nepal, it’s a global problem that manifests differently in different societies.”
In the context of the Nepalese society, she explains that historically and traditionally women have been accorded a subservient role, but at the same time, she is expected to make sacrifices and compromise in the interest of the family or the society at large. Her entire identity is forfeited in the name of family honour.
The family honour or izzat has been one of the recurring theme in the interviews conducted for the DFID funded project on Women, Work and Violence in Nepal.
One of the participants who works in Nepal’s highly exploitative entertainment industry narrates how the pressure to uphold family honour was devastating for her life. She says “I was married in April 1990 when I was 14 years old and was studying in standard 10. I come from a Brahmin family (upper stratum of the society). My father is a priest and commanded a lot of respect in the society. My father married me off at an early age. He was very conscious of his and the family’s izzat (honour).
Rekha Thapa says that the notion of izzat or family honour is so intrinsically linked with the wife, daughter or daughter-in-law of the family that it systemically makes a woman silently tolerate domestic violence and abuse even when such harm becomes life–threatening. “This has to be challenged and women have to be told that this is wrong, they have to be independent and shouldn’t give in too such norms.”
The participant talks about the ordeal she had to go through following the marriage. She was beaten up regularly by her alcoholic husband; her in-laws never came to her rescue. The family code and social norms were strictly observed. She says, “I was still studying. I would wake up at dawn and cook food for the entire family. In our culture, the daughter-in-law is not expected to eat food before serving the husband’s parents so I used to go to school with an empty stomach. If I ate, my in-laws wouldn’t eat. They didn’t want me to study.”
Rekha points out, “society forgets that women are human beings first then a mother or a wife or lover. She too has aspirations, dreams and potential to contribute to the society. Our social norms stifle her; there is no scope for her to discover her identity let alone assert it.”
The participant adds, “I became pregnant and at the very advanced stage of my pregnancy, my husband kicked me very hard and beat me ruthlessly. It was because I had discovered that he was having an affair with someone else and confronted him. So after a few days when the time of delivery came, I was all alone in the hospital.” In Kathmandu’s Maternity Hospital, she gave birth to a dead child.
Her husband returned after a few years and made her pregnant again. When asked why did she accept him. She says, “the ijjat of my father and my in-laws was important. My father was known in the community and divorce or separation is not accepted. I had nowhere to go. My husband still had four unmarried brothers and two sisters. The presence of elder daughter in –law in very important for any social function so the family’s izzat was tied with me. Also if my children had to study, they needed a father. Otherwise, there life would be doomed. In school they ask father’s name.”
Rekha says that women can challenge their plight only when they are empowered and education is the only vehicle that can enable women to earn some sort of dignity and be aware of their rights.
The outspoken actor who takes inspiration from Saint Teresa of Calcutta says that her celebrity status doesn’t stop her from mingling with the crowd. “When I travel to different parts of Nepal I come across many young girls who say they want to be like me. I always encourage them to get proper education first – all other dreams will follow.”
The actress is using cinema as a medium to raise awareness. Some of her films like Kali, Himmatwali (the brave girl), Rampyari are about women empowerment and send a strong message to women to be strong and believe in themselves. Rampyari is about a woman who works as a tuk-tuk driver to earn for the family and educate her brother and sister.
Pramit Bhattarai, an entrepreneur, applauds her for taking up these vital issues. He says, “the industry is competitive and doesn’t have the appeal or the quality that Bollywood from neighbouring India has, but to be able to produce such movies in a national language that are well received is commendable.”
Rekha has been spending a lot of time with the children of women engaged in commercial sex work or engaged in the entertainment industry. She visits NGO Raksha Nepal that works for the rights of women engaged in the entertainment sector and provides shelter to their children. “It’s wonderful to meet the children and to understand that they have just come out of a dreadful situation. When I see them it makes me happy and at the same time it brings tears in my eyes.”
She says women working in the entertainment industry are ‘fighters’, who have not given up despite facing so many hardships in life. It is easy to be critical of their profession but unless there is an alternative source of employment the industry will strive and women will continue to be vulnerable to violence and trafficking.
Rekha urges the government and civil society to do more and says “men must stop believing like they are the custodians of the society and women must believe that they are not just equal but in many ways above them.” Even while acting I protest when I am asked to do a “feminine role”, I say I’m hero too as I can do everything that a male actor can enact. Why should the male actor dominate screen and speech time? The stereotyping must stop”, she says.